I’m 65, and I’m Not at My Peak Yet

I’m stronger, more patient, and closer to God than ever. Here’s what did it.

I’m 65, and I still haven’t reached my peak.

Earlier in my life, I measured my peak in dollars. Net worth. Now I measure it in how I can be of service to others and how well I love my wife.

In my first marriage, I was so focused on earning money that I don’t think I paid enough attention to my family. When issues came up between us, I’d bury myself in work in my basement office. Or I’d stay silent or acquiesce. I’d keep pushing my anger down until, eventually, it exploded.

Now, when there’s a conflict, my first reaction might still be anger or irritation. But I sit down with my wife and we talk it through, rather than letting resentment build.

I’ve started volunteering at church. I make time for men at my favorite cigar lounge when they want advice or feedback. I do things for my wife without keeping score (as she does for me).

Most men don’t want to get old

I can understand that. There are more than a couple of good reasons to feel that way, and I have personal experience with them.

No matter how well you take care of yourself, as you age, parts will start to wear out and break down. I’ve had spinal fusion surgery due to intense back pain, prostate surgery, and three shoulder surgeries. Arthritis in my left knee, right thumb, and my spine. Degenerating discs along the entire thing as well.

Then there’s the fact that as you get older, it’s not just you. I have friends suffering from cancer, a brain tumor, kidney failure, and in need of a knee replacement.

As I get even older it will be the loss of friends through death. I’ve already lost one that I’d known for almost 30 years. Many more to come (assuming I outlive them).

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”
2 Corinthians 4:16

A decline in one part of your life doesn’t have to mean that your life as a whole is declining. My spine has gotten worse. The way I handle a disagreement with my wife has gotten better. Both are happening as I get older.

A better version of yourself could be your future

As you get older you can be as strong as, if not stronger than, you’ve ever been.

You can be closer to the Lord than you’ve ever been.

You can be more patient.

You can be kinder.

You can be wiser.

At 65, I’m better in all those areas than I’ve ever been, and I’m still improving.

The strength part is easy to measure: this week I did four sets of leg presses. My last set was 415 lbs for 16 reps. That was a new personal record. The whole rack with the dial turned to its max 15 lbs.

The most weight I’ve ever leg-pressed

The other day I was driving behind a very slow driver: 25 in a 30 MPH zone (which of course means you should be driving 35). I could feel the annoyance rising in my body, but I took a breath and a mental step back and thought “this will only get me home one minute later than I’d arrive otherwise.”

I spend more time now in prayer in the morning and hanging out with Christian men at the local coffee shop or cigar lounge, which is helping me keep Christ in front of me more throughout the week.

I still get irritated behind a slow driver. Anger can still be my first reaction in a disagreement with my wife. I’ve got plenty left to work on, and at 65 I can see that the work is making a difference.

Getting older hasn’t done any of this for me. I still have to lift the weights, catch my impatience, and stay in the conversation when I’d rather withdraw.

I used to measure my peak by how much money I made. Now I measure it by how well I love my wife and how useful I can be to other people. By that measure, I’m not at my peak yet.

Yours could still be ahead of you.

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If you’re working on your health or figuring out what comes next, become a paid subscriber to The Redeemed Second Half. Every paid subscription includes a digital copy of my book The Last 10 Pounds, and founding members can book a 30-minute, one-on-one call with me. Bring something you’re dealing with, and we’ll talk it through.

I respond to every comment.

Vic built and sold ScreenRant.com and GameRant.com, then rebuilt himself in his sixties.

He writes at TheRedeemedSecondHalf.com for men rebuilding the second half of life.